Retrospective

Jiffer, the girls and I traveled to Colorado to see family and friends and have a little (I mean huge) vacation over his winter break. It was almost everything I hoped it would be. We did get to see some friends and some family. We relaxed. We had dates. We had a little bit of family time with just us four. We snowboarded and watched Penelope learn to ski. We missed seeing a few really good friends in Boulder and the friends we did see - it just didn't feel like enough. That's the problem with not living in the same town with someone. A visit just doesn't do it justice. You can do your best to squeeze in everything, but it's never enough. We'll try again next summer.

When I look back at the whirlwind that's been our life over the last 6 - 8 months, I realize that some times good things come in a hurry. One day you're settled and oh so comfortable in your suburban home and community and the next, something uproots your young little family and rocks your world. Two Thanksgivings ago we visited Becky & Jason in Palo Alto and that was when the idea of applying to Stanford was first discussed again (since the last time Jiffer applied and was accepted 7 years before). Two weeks Jiffer applied to the CCRMA masters program. Five months later he was accepted. Three months later we sold our house and moved to California. And here we are. It's been a bumpy road so far. A lot of highs and lows. For me at least. Overall, I don't have any regrets. A very good friend gave me a card that quotes Neale Donald Walsch - 'Life begins at the end of your comfort zone'. It made me cry when she gave it to me and almost makes me cry every time I read it. Because it's true and because, damn it, I was so comfortable where I was. Comfortable is easy. But what I'm finding now is that I'm forced, out of pure necessity, to grow in this new situation. Meeting new people, shopping at new grocery stores, navigating a new culture and community and carrying a little more weight in the parenting department. I had it easy before in some ways, and now I have a new perspective. On many things. And I'm grateful for that.

One of the most easily identifiable positives about being her is family. I feel so blessed and grateful to have them here. I don't know what I would do if they weren't. Even though we don't see each other a lot, just knowing they are across town makes me happy. I have never, in my adult life, lived so close to family. It's really wonderful. They are so giving and genuinely interested in being in our lives and being close to our girls. We are so happy to be a part of their lives and I know they feel the same in return.

So this year I'm going to make it my intention to find personal growth through this experience in my relationship with Jiffer and in motherhood. I also intend on trying to not take for granted where we are (enjoy Northern California) and the family that we live near.

Cheers to a great 2011!